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+29 votes
I can't make a destination wedding anymore. I once changed an RSVP before, and the bride ended up getting mad at me. How can I manage this well this time?

asked Jan 14, 2014 in Guests and Etiquette by jessica

19 Answers

+4 votes
Direct and honest is the best way. Go ahead and give the bride a call and let her know that you cannot make it. You don't have to give an explanation of why, but if she asks you can be as general or in depth with your reply. I'm sure that you were invited because the bride sincerely would like for you to be there but her possible disappointment shouldn’t discourage you from doing your part as a guest, which would be to properly updating your rsvp as soon as possible.

answered Jan 15, 2014 by weddingswithwinkley(expert)
0 votes
I see people offer to pay for their meal or pay part of the room if both have been booked already.

answered Jan 23, 2014 by Penny And Mary(helpful expert)
+1 vote
Tell them ASAP so they can still adjust any arrangements they need to make.

answered Jan 23, 2014 by madel
+2 votes
I would try to understand the "discomfort" caused by your absence. If it is monetary - offer to foot a part of or all of you cost. If it is emotional, because they really want you there, consider sending a video greeting message at the reception. timing is also key as many have said - tell them ASAP!

answered Jan 23, 2014 by anonymous
+1 vote
The bride is just upset because she really wanted you to be there. But yeah, informing them immediately by calling them or meeting them personally is the best thing to do.

answered Jan 23, 2014 by PrettyLittleDetails(expert)
+1 vote
Contact the couple asap and politely apologize and do not not tell lies about he the reason you are not coming. And also mention that if you will have a chance, you will personally give your gift to them.

answered Jan 23, 2014 by pamela
+2 votes
If ever there is a change in your schedule again, you can change your RSVP. What I will probably going to do is send them a gift and express my regret in canceling my attendance. Hope that will work for you.

answered Jan 23, 2014 by LauraCarter
0 votes
I agree with all the comments above. One thing to keep in mind is that every friend will take this news differently.

answered Jan 25, 2014 by
+1 vote
Let the bride know as soon as possible by giving her a call or e-mail or how you normally communicate to each other. Apologize for no longer being able to attend the wedding and tell her the reason why. Another best thing to do is to offer to pay the cost they had made for you if you changed your RSVP few days away before the wedding.

answered Jan 25, 2014 by SimplyEvents(expert)
0 votes
A sincere apology will do. :-)

answered Jan 25, 2014 by madel
I absolutely agree!
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