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+21 votes
This is our 3rd marriage each and I must add our final marriage.... we have known each other for over 31 years, we broke up in 1981 and we have both been through marriages and divorces. We reconnected through facebook 3 years ago....my 2nd marriage ended...and my fiance' and I found each other again and now we are planning our wedding , we are having a small ceremony for just the 2 of us this month and the big one in Sept. or Oct of this year.....we already have the place...but our daughters ( I have 2 and he has 1) want to be involved, so do my grandchildren and the rest of my family and friends. We would like to do some kind of ceremony that will involve all of our children...any suggestions?
Location: Portland, OR (Roloff Farm)

asked Jun 6, 2013 in Managing Family and Friends by Honey-Girl2008

7 Answers

0 votes
First of all, congratulations! It depends on your children and grandchildren's ages, but I'd suggest including them in the wedding party by making them bridesmaids, flower girls, and ring bearers. I've even seen a wedding where the bride and groom had only family members in their wedding party because it was their second marriage; she had her son and daughter stand with her, and he had his three children (2 sons and a daughter) stand with him. It really showed the two families coming together. However you decide to include them though, I definitely think having them in the wedding party is a good idea.

answered Jun 7, 2013 by anastasia
0 votes
You can involve your children in other ways than having them be bridesmaids and flower girls too. I always like when a couple has their children read the passages or a poem during the ceremony. If your children are musically talents, perhaps you could ask them to do the songs.

answered Jun 9, 2013 by Tina
0 votes
You could let each girl be the coordinator for one aspect of the wedding, such as the flowers or the music. That would let them feel like it was party their wedding as well because they've helped plan it.

answered Jun 10, 2013 by selena
+1 vote
It depends on 1. how visible you want your family's contribution to be during the ceremony and 2. how long you want the ceremony to be. If you want them to be very visible, you can include them in the wedding party or as escorts for you and your fiancee. They can sing songs, play instruments, do a reading etc - but this could lengthen your wedding. They can also officiate your wedding. A less visible but still involved ceremony is the blessing of the ring, where the rings are passed to all of the guests who bless them and warm them. The least visible way is to assign different components of you wedding (both ceremony and reception) to your children and thank them during your speech. The most important thing is that you must remember this is your wedding. Have a vision, delegate effectively, and stick to your vision. Everyone has the best intentions, but remember that intentions do not equal your happiness. It is still your day of celebration.

answered Jun 10, 2013 by YandD
Great advice! When assigning wedding components, what's the protocol on costs?
Willingness to pay!
+1 vote
Oh boy! Ceremony: ONE HUGE 6" diameter candle. Every child + You 2 have a taper candle to unite everyone lighting the 6" candle. Mother/daughter, Mother/daughter, father/daughter dance! Family Cake cutting. This is really sentimental: Buy each daughter a unique engrave locket or necklace. Have a part of your day for "Pinning" or placing the necklace on each child (make sure to let your photographer know!) Most important: Have each and every one of them in your wedding party including the grandchildren. http://www.charlestonweddingphotographers.com/ http://pinterest.com/charlestonphoto/boards/

answered Aug 21, 2013 by charlestonweddingphotographers(expert)
0 votes
my sister is on her second and her fiance is on his third. All the kids are involved in the wedding along with me and my kids. The girls are a flower girl, junior bridesmaid, bridesmaid and the boy is a groomsmen/ringbearer. For the children you could either do some sort of unity candle or a friend of mine did unity sand.

answered Aug 22, 2013 by weddinggirl24(expert)
As a ceremony officiant, several couples have asked me this question and I usually recommend a sand ceremony where all the members of the family have their own vile of colored sand. Everyone blends their sand into a larger vessel. This can be done with just bride and groom, the bride and groom and parents, the bride and groom and children, or bride and groom, parents and children. It's a way to include everyone involved. Another good way (although I don't recommend this for outdoor weddings because it could get windy) is to have each person with a small taper candle, and everyone at the same time, light a unity candle. You could also have each person warm your rings in their hands or kiss them as a symbol of a blessing for your marriage. Another way is to have each person say something to you to bless your marriage, but this one asks quite a bit of your guests and makes your ceremony long. However, if there are just a few people to say a few words, this one is great. I hope this helps. Congratulations to you.
The sand ceremony is better. The children are not holding a candle burning and wax getting on their dress. If the older ones want to light the candle, have them do it together. Have the little ones just watch the candle being let. Or before you leave the unity candle, have the little one blow out the candle when you finish lighting the center candle.
0 votes
Your children should not be left out of the ceremony. Reason being , being part of the wedding only brings you closer. This wedding ties two families together, if done right this makes a beautiful wedding day for you.

answered Oct 11, 2013 by Justice Helen Dauphinais(expert)